Tired thoughts

This is quite stressing.

Sira made my day today. She delivered a little present (chocolate popcorns) for me via a friend. I was totally surprised. I was so touched, that I almost developed a tear. And I've been teary all day and that pisses me off. There is now good reason for that. Next exam is next week (the one I didn't pass) and I have time to read for it. And it is no problem to do the another exam later.

I took my bike to be fixed. 100€. But it's not that bad, I bought new tires and all things will be changed for better. Riikka brought me a new glass shops address and I was supposed to visit there but I went to wrong direction and was too tired to return though I had time. And the train was late for half an hour. I couldn't do anything reasonable while travelling. Though I had planned to read a bit.

My appetite have been lost today and I haven't eaten much. I ate fish too much and now I don't feel so well. My head have been acing again. I'm just stressed about tomorrow. I've been down all day. But now I feel a bit better. I'm just tired. Very tired. Hope this will go away after the funeralf. I don't have afford to be tired now. Only couple months for "vacation". Though at christmas holidays I'll read for neurobiology.

We talked about how I feel with Tarmo last night. It made me feel better. He's so sweet. Supports me all the time. No wonder I love that man. My love.
I went to microscope SH5SHY (can't remember was that right) cells and they were nice. Jonna laughed at me when I said I like those kind of cells.

But my thoughts are messy and my head isn't clear. I'm too tired to think. I've got to sleep and get home soon.

I thought today that I'm lucky. I'm easy to get laugh. Though I'm sad, I still can laugh. And I don't even fake much of it. But it isn't so nice when I supposed to be mad. Muaha. Though I really am not mad often.

Grief and stress

We watched X-men2 and slept. I couldn't read. There's just more to next week.
The funerals are third day, on friday. I'd have an exam and lab that day. But now I have to do the exam on tuesday (I have another exam on monday) and do something else for that lab. I feel I have to go to the funerals. Olavi was quite close to me.
I have to be strong for my mom. She has to tell everyone else. I don't cry on phone to her, I feel like loading a bit too much of her. I'm so happy to have Tarmo. He hugs and gives me comfort.
I had thought to take next week a bit relaxed. I wouldn't read on weekend when the kittens come. But it doesn't always go like you plan. Fortunately I don't have so much things to do next week and we wrote most of the reports on saturday.
I think I can handle the exams. It has always been my way to grief. Reading. Hope something catches to my mind too.

By the way. I thought to try to write in english this blog. To develop my writing skills. Maybe.

I'm kind of tired though I slept well at night and few hours at evening. My dad griefs by sleeping. Maybe I do that too.
I wish Tarmo comes soon from sauna. I feel I'd need a hug now.
I think I'll be better tomorrow. It always helps to sleep a night over.