My Past

Muaha, I just found my old old blog I wrote when I had just moved in Jyväskylä. Oh god I was such a partygirl! Almost every weekend at bar. How could I afford that??? Well, I had been working last summer so maybe I had money. And I was lonely. I see it only now. I'm so much happier and more balanced than ever.

And my stress is beginning to ease. Though I'm now sick, luckily I had only two really bad days (fever and still 9 hours at the lab). I'm better now, still coughing and my throat is sore. Still one week to go with the work, not so long hours which is more that good. I'll survive as I said. And I'm happy that I did this much work.

I heard that the last Harry Potter has been published! I thought it'd come out tomorrow. I try to get it as soon as possible. Maybe I could read it next week. Or the week after that.

Tarmos mom and her husband will come here tonight. And my parents visited yesterday. and next weekend we'll go to Tampere.

I'm still thinking my earlier blog. My life was only reading, bar and tv. Well not only, I had friends but I realize now that I still was lonely. But what else could I feel? I'd just ended my long relationship, had moved to a new city ans started whole new life. But I must say, I did enjoy my single life, at least most of it. I do feel better now with Tarmo but I needed that time. And I'm glad that I experienced that all. My biggest fear was that I'd turn up cold but I didn't. It was fun to read my thoughts two years ago and to notice how much I've changed. I am adult now and I've developed much emotionally. And I feel more secure now. I don't stress up so much of exams (though I should) and I've calmed down. But isn't that what happens when one gets in a relationship? Though I'm much poorer now so I can't afford to go to bars every weekend.

But enough of my past life. Lets think my future.
I chatted with Saana last night and I realized that I'm starting to think the excange more and more. Now I have the time to think about it. I start to be nervous about the flights (well I'm not nervous now but every time I think of them, I get nervous). How do I find all the desks? I've been traveling so little especially by plain, so I fear airports a bit. Though I know I'll manage, I can speak and I'm not afraid to ask someones help if I need it. And luckily I'm women so people are more friendly towards me. At least I believe so. I'll just look innocent and frightened so that they'll just feel sorry for me and help me. Muaha!

I'll try to wake up at 11 am beginning next week. Then I've turned my dayschedule four hours. And the last week I'll try to wake up at 12 am. I believe that's the point I just can't sleep later.

This text is beginning to be just a stream of consciousness so I'll stop writing now. In a hour there will be this movie I'll watch. Hope the next week goes fast! I want to stay home!