Excitement

I really don't get it how these weeks keep passing by so quick! It's Friday again!
And only two days to go and we get engaged. I'm so happy!
We've planned the party a lot and we did rent Lillukka for us. Next week I'll have to do all the cakes and all. Luckily I have Thursday free and then I have time to do the food and cleaning.
This weekend I should read for the virology, I'll have an exam about it next Tuesday.

And I have such a problem. I don't know how I will do my hair and makeup, no to even mention my clothes! I thought I'd curl my hair and leave it free and do dark eye makeup since the lip makeup will wear out while I'm drinking and eating. And I'll put my new skirt but I don't know which shirt I'll wear! Well, maybe I'll figure it out.

I'm waiting the reply from the University of Iowa. I keep thinking that they won't take me there and I don't get the exchange place! I hope I get the information about it next week. They said that we'd know it on the beginning of April. And it is it then! And I try not to think about it. I just get too excited.

And I got my Master's Thesis lab BOOK! It's black and so nice! I covered it and made a piece of paper on it so it is easier to see what it is. It's SO nice! I feel like I'm doing something important when I write something in it. Though I have my old notebook where I scribble my notes while working, another notebook for my self (because the lab book won't be mine, it will go to my university). And it's nicer to write all my doings neatly so that I can memorize what I've done easier. And speaking of it, I should go and update my nice lab book and cover my note book...

Feelin' good

Uah. It's over. The neurobiology's exam was quite easy. But I'm not sure if I found everything crucial for the questions. Or if I picked up the right things. I really hope I did so. I also returned the book and went to x-ray my teeth. I'll have an appointment next week with the hygienist, she/he will take away my toothstones. And the same time she/he will say if my wisdom teeth will need something to do.

Yesterday it was snowing. A lot. I had some difficulties to go to school on the morning since I really couldn't ride a bike well since I had the book with me and the bag I was carrying it was so big that I had to keep it on the handlebar and it hit all the time to my knee. I bet I'll get huge bruises for that. And there was so much snow that it was hard to ride a bike even though there had been ploughed already. But it's really nice weather now. Sun is shining, it's white and few degrees below zero. And I feel fine since the exam is over and I can do the exchange applications and rehearse for the TOEFL (it's on Friday!). I just hope I can get to their webpages since they haven't been working so well... And maybe Tarmo would loan me his headphones so that it would be easier to practice.

But I'm now so hungry that I have to go to do something to eat (pasta with tuna) and then I'll start to write my personal statements and other exchange stuff. Tomorrow I'll go to some kind of course meeting (about courses I've already done a year ago) with a friend (who asked me to go to there) and on the evening we'll have a girls night! We'll eat and gossip and have fun. Though I can't go to bar, I drunk my money already last Tuesday... And on Wednesday I'll go to Tampere and on Thursday I'll go to Ideapark with Mom (she said there could be some sales which means I can get new clothes and maybe new shoes!) and on Friday I'll go to Helsinki to the TOEFL test. Mom will come there with me too, so I have some company and she'll take my phones etc since one can't have them with you there! And we'll go to eat there and maybe shop more (the test takes about four hours so one really gets hungry there).

But now I'm really hungry. I feel like listening music loud, making food and enjoying the freedom I feel right now. Luckily my courses will start only just next week.

Inspiration

Still 50 pages to go. Though I really haven't learned anything from the last chapters but I know coarsely what's in them. Luckily I can have the book with me!

We went to pizza today. It was nice. Then we coated Tarmo's physics books. He could have done it by himself but it was easier end nicer to do it together. And I had nothing else to do anyway. We were supposed to clean today but I'm not inspired at all. Tomorrow we have to clean... There is dirt on the floor! The kitties spread it all over because I gave them grass. So they liked the dirt on it.

We're going to watch Babylon 5 tonight. I haven't ever seen them. And Tarmo has almost all the dvds.

I have to start to eat iron again. I've been tired all the time even though I sleep well.

I was in Bodycircuit with Dooris on Thursday and Saana was there too. It was so nice!

But I'm not inspired about anything right now and I can't keep my thoughts in my head.

New Year

Now, it's 2007. In case you didn't know that.

We had a nice party at Lillukka, a place we rented. We made food and some of it wasn't eaten (though there were almost ten eaters). After that we sang Singstars and Sami had bought a new game for it which had Finnish songs. I sang PMMP´s Pikkuveli and it was really nice. We sang a lot with Vepa and I even sang songs that don't fit to my voice. I can't sing songs that go too low. My voice doesn't reach there.
But still, I won't sing karaoke in front of too many people. I'm too ashamed.

Before

After

Actually there was two times more of them that it shows in here. (And the kettle was full.) And we spent two liters oil. Yum.

I was too slow to renew my book loan. So now i have to return my neurobiology book next week and I have the exam week after that! And I need the book there (since it can be with me). But I booked other book. The same book but from the main library. I hope I get that day before I have to return this book. I can have that book only two weeks but it's enough. Hope the person who has it now won't be asshole and keep it too long. Though one have to pay if one keeps the books over time but still it happens. Though not very often.
Still 700 pages to go.

I cleaned our toiled today, I washed it throughout. There was a lot of kitten hair there. I've always wondered where it all goes since we don't have kitten hair all over. I also washed the dishes (though I've said to Tarmo that my hands are in bad shape so I don't wash them eagerly). But there was a lot of them and Tarmo went to university today and I hate complaining so I put gloves and did them my self. And it's not that big deal. He vacuumed when he came home.


The kitties are so cute (yes, still). They always run under the bedspread and only one can is one big clump shivering. And when I read they always come to look me and purr and aww aww. But I'll go and do something if Tarmo would think something to do. I'm too tired to read anymore, maybe I'll play Sims. I'm too addicted to it.

Bored

I've done all my exams for this year. At least I hope so.
I already got the first exams book for next year and it's 1300 pages! So I really need to read on christmas holidays too.
And I'm bored. I was home at noon and I had already been in exam, talking to Tuula, visited a library and went to buy some food. I keep constantly forgetting that it's Monday, not Sunday. I still need to remember that for few hours since I'm going to gym and the Desperate Houseviwes comes today! Tarmo's computer crashed again so as we had no internet I read some exhange information and watched some Friends. Now I'm not in the mood of reading anythin further. I'd like to play but my computer is somewhere else! I should call them tomorrow and ask when I'll get it back. And the TOEFL tests aren't working on this computer. And I'm bored.
I thought I might wash our floors tomorrow. And wipe the dusts. But that'll take only the morning.
I should go to the police station to get new passport for myself. But I thought I might do it on the same trip I'm going to get my Master Card. And they haven't sent me yet any notes of it. Did I already mentioned that I'm bored?
Maybe I'll think up something before it gets 7 pm. Then I'll go to the gym. Hey! I promised myself that I'd go to gym this week everyday since I have time! Oh that sounds good.
But I'm bored now.

TOEFL

I called today to Netherlands! I told TArmo to listen music so he couldn't hear me. I was so ashamed to speak english. But it went well and now I have an exam on January.
This day was awful. I had two tests, I hope and believe (if I dare to say so) I'll pass both of them, though I will not get good grades on swedish. But the point is to pass it so I can get it to my language studies. After the tests I went to listen a seminar and started to feel bad there, since I had eaten only an apple and few candy after my breakfast (I got up at six am.). And after that I went to talk to Tuula since I won't go to university tomorrow. She still hasn't done the corrections to my articel, but it's only good since I don't have any motivation to do anything right now.
I got home after four pm. and checked email. There was a mail from international servicec that I should register me NOW to TOEFL and call to Netherlands. I first thought I should call there tomorrow but then I got a new email which said that there is really open times for the tests on March or April and that would be too late, so I should check if I could do some other tests and I couldn't find any and got fustrated.
So I made some sandwiches, ate and tried again. I encouraged myself and called to the TOEFL center. A nice phonebill will come but now I have done it. I just corrected some mistakes of my information on their webpages, because I had to spell all names and streets etc to him. But I got the test day to January and that's good. I don't have to worry about that (well I do, but not in that way that I wouldn't get the test). So I'll travel to Helsinki on that day. And the test costs 116€! And I had to loan Tarmos credit card (which is his mothers actually) and I felt bad about it since his mother called to him and didn't sound very pleased, but was ok when Tarmo explained the situation. I ofcourse paid it back already.

We'll have a "little christmas" tomorrow. I have no idea if that phrase had any real meaning. Wer'll make the salad to there (we got the ingredients today). And we'll go to bank on morning to get Tarmo's real credit card (before they gave the wrong one to him), get some pants and a new bag for him. And some wine for the night.
We baked A LOT of cookies yesterday. Well, the others baked, I ate too much cake and didn't feel so good. And then we sang some karaoke. It was fun.
But I think I'm too tired now. My brains haven't been working sonce 2 pm. And I bet the man in the TOEFL Center noticed that. It took some time to me to get what he ment by a star. I misheard it and didn't have any idea what he ment. But I finally got it and we laughed about it. He was really nice. And my English wasn't so bad.

But I really need to sleep now.

YEAH!

I got there! I GOT THERE!!!! I'm going to USA next fall!!!! Amazing! I'm so excited! Goodbye concentration to reading to the last exams! (I'll have two next thursday and I haven't even started) I'm so EXCITED! YEAH!

We just had a nice girls evening, we ate a lot and talked more. It was fun. We watched Riikkas photos from Toronto and I got this feeling that Me wanna too! And now I can go there! YEAH!

I was really tired and planned to go to sleep but then I read my emails and now I'm not so tired anymore. I called immediately to mom and she said I must be drunk when I just screamed to phone. But I'm not, I'm excited! YEAH!

I have to go to surf on Kansas University's webpages and then go to sleep. I have to read tomorrow. We'll bake some cookies too, since it's our independece day tomorrow. YEAH!

Oh, I almost forgot, we were at the vet today. It went fine. The kitties got vaccinated and we planned that the kitties will get the another vaccination next year in the beginning of February and they will be castrated also then. We'll save about 40 euros becouse we get all that on same clinic payment. But no I'll go to surf! YEAH!

Busy

Been busy though I did nothing, just NOTHING last weekend. An on saturday, I didn't even change my nighties! It was awesome! Can't remember when I had done that last time. Me and my mom jused to call those days as "pupelipäivä".
We haven't got our results for the last exam we had. She has been cheked them already but I'm too afraid to go and ask the results. I fear I might be disappointed.
Two weeks. Two weeks. And then all my exams for this year will be over. Can't wait!
My computer is falling apart. Not really but it keeps crashing if I play The Sims 2. And it hasn't done that before. And the guarantee went four days ago. I still emailed to the shop and asked if they still could do something for this.
I just noticed that it's really easy to write in english and think in english. Eeek! I try not to think the exhange thing. I saw a commercial abou a women who was flying to somewhere (a deodorant commercial) and every time I see that, I think about the Big Flight I might experience next year.
Our kitties are cuties. We should vaccinate them soon. I'll call to the vet tomorrow. But the 4D begins. There's something about a boy who beats his mom.

ps. I love Tarmo.

Interview

I've lost my lab book! It has just disappeared. Pof. Like that.
I wrote something to it yesterday, packed it to my bag and haven't seen it since. It's not at home and it's not there where I last used it. Mysterious. And kind of stupid. I have some really important information in it. I'll have to go tomorrow to ask from library if someone has seen it. If hasn't I have to put a message to our mailing list. Someone must have seen it! It can't understand it! It can't just disappear. CAN'T! Fustrating.

I had an exam on monday and I'll pass it. And today I had the interwiev for the exhange thing! And it went ok. I'll get the results in few weeks. I heard that they had already made preliminary choises and I was in it! That's why I had the interview. Nice! I also had a presentation today. It went ok too. But back to the interview. I had had a task to think what I would tell for an exhange student about my university. I had thought all kind of things but the interview was much shorter than I imagined! I hadn't the time to tell everything I had planned. And then they asked what would be my plan B if I didn't get to USA. And do I understand that the studying in USA is different from studying here. I just looked at them stunned and said yes. Isn't it kind of obvious that I have read thos things? And then they asked can I cope with the culture shock and homesickness. And it was it. It took about 10 minutes. And I saw them to fill some kind of evaluating form of me everythime I opened my mouth. But I couldn't see what they wrote in it! Argh! Hope I was good. Good enough to get to exhange. And if I get that far, I hope I'll get to Kansas! I asked them how long I have to wait and be anxious about this. Few weeks they said. Few weeks.

I had long day, 11 hours. I'm kind of tired now. I'll go and do something that doesen't require brains.

Fun saturday

Been busy. I have an exam tomorrow and I've read, though not very well. But I'll pass the test anyway. And on tuesday I'll have an interview for my exhange! I should tell them in english what I would tell about my university for an exhange student. I've sought some facts and then I'll say something nice, something what I think about my university. That isn't hard since I love my university. And I should do some kind of representation of what I've done with the SH-SY5Y cells. On tuesday we'll have quests from Tampere and they'll give some kind of representations too. But luckily mine doesn't have to be long, I don't have anything to say! I'll just put some pictures we got on friday with Reija about the cells and say something about it. Unfortunately we didn't get any "normal" pictures since our cells weren't stained. But I'll figure out something.

Yesterday we did the "Fab Five"-thing to J-P. We sought some clothes for him and did his hair and he really looked good. Hope he gets that too! We found a nice shirt for him (black with purple lines, H&M), a jacket and trousers from fleamarket. We teared the trousers so that they look rock! Muaha. And made some purple stripes for his hair. It took all day and after that we went to eat. We ate two hours and all were almost too sick! But it was fun. The whole day was.

Today I went to library on morning, read few hours, came home, cleaned and took a nap. Now I thought I'd do something for my interview and for that cell thing.

Head hurts

Oh my head hurts so bad. Can't remember when it has been this bad. And it's cold in here.
I went to get my answers of the failure-exam. The teachers had lost the molecular part of it. And of the cellular part, I got full points! They found my other paper just before my lections started. I had been misthinking. A lot of fool mistakes! And the teachers said I had assumed too much. I didn't explain enough. So I didn't get any points though I had something right. That sucks. But I have read all about the course, and even well. Hope that is enough.
I was differetieting the SH-SY5Y (now I can write it right) cells today. And tomorrow we'll look the cells with the patch clamp equipment. And on friday I'll subculture the cells on my own! And on monday I'll infect the cells with parvo viruses with Kirsi. Exiting! And next week I'll stain the cells and do some microscoping. Luckily Reija will come to help me a bit. I have to count the cells and see where the viruses have gone and take some pictures.
I got my bike yesterday and it's so much easier to drive now though the snow is melting away now. And it sucks to drive in this weather, I can't control the bike. It's kind of scary. But it would suck more to walk to university.
I stayed home today until midday. I read and made some food. Tomorrow I'll do the same. Kitties were crazy. It was fun to play with my pen while I was writing! I gave them a straw and they were happy.
But my head hurts so bad that I have to go to lie down and maybe to sleep. I was too tired this morning.

I'm not crazy anymore

Yesterday was a hard day. Both in physically and emotionally. The funerals were nice, if one can say so. I cried a lot. But now it is over and I feel better. I didn't have the time to go to the comemorial, since my brother, Hannu can't drive at dark. He hurted his eye last summer, and can drive, but doesn't see good at dark. And I found out on thursday that I have the exam netx thursday and I hadn't taken with me my notebooks. And since some of my friends may come to visit tomorrow and I have a lot to do next week, I don't have much time to read for the exam. So I thought it would be better if I would leave with my brothers to Tampere earlier, since my parents would be at Tampere earliest at seven. And the sun was already going down, so we had to leave when the funerals ended. And we got jammed at Tampere, but still I catched the train. I had five minutes!
But it made me sad that I didn't have the time to go to the comemorial. I heard there was a picture there, in which there was me, Olavi and Sanni (my cousin). Luckily they promised that I would get a copy of that picture. And the priest talked nice words about Olavi. He was a veteran and had been in important job in the war (as all soldiers). And he wounded there. I never heard him talking about it. Very few did. I cried on the way to Tampere. And slept most of the journey to Jyväskylä. The train was again half an hour late. I talket a bit with some boy who sat next to me. I was too ashamed to look him in the eyes, since mine were all red. I bet he thought I was shy or something. Muaha. Well, I am, but not that shy.
Tarmo came to the station and walked with me home. I hadn't eaten since morning and I wasn't hungry. Still Tarmo made something to eat for me. I slept well and we woke at seven though we got up at eight. Or I did. I was supposed to go to the library to read, but since it's halloween, I didn't. The library isn't open. Luckily Tarmo gave me his chair (my back gets hurted if I sit in my own since I can't adjust the height of it). And I read enough for this day and spotted some things I had misunderstood or hadn't understood well enough. I got through the molecular part of that course. Tomorrow I'll read the cell part. And the exam will go fine. I hope.

I'm not as stressed anymore. It was the funerals that made me crazy.

And Neko is sweetheart. She doesn't mind being stroked but today was the third time she slept on my lap. And she came there just to sleep. And she is so warm and cutie and feels good... And Pollo slept at my feet on the remoters. Our babies.

We should clean our house, but I'm not inspired. Maybe later. Or tomorrow. Before the quests come and before we go to Sami's birthday. Or we'll just give him his birthdaypresent or something. And I have to read a bit. Though not as much as today. Maybe it would be better if we cleaned today. But later. Still not inspired.

Fucking fuck

Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!
Again, I proved myself that I am stupid. Just stupid. An Idiot! Fuck!
So, I did not pass yesterdays exam. Though I thought it went ok. But obviously it didn't. And here's the problem. I could go to do the exam again on friday, but I'm in funerals! Fuck! So now I have to read all again, and better, becouse obviously I hadn't understood anything about the course. I thought I could've read next week on another exam, but now I don't have time since I have this another exam too. Fuck! And I should start to culture the cells on monday, but how can I do anything if I'm this stupid?! I thought the exam was easy! FUCK!
I'm so pissed of my self. So disappointed. I thought I had understood everything on the course and I thought I could handle the exam. But NO. NO NO NO NO.
And I can't read anything this weekend since there is this funeral and I'm so stressed about that that I can't read. Oh this is so stupid. STUPID.

I already cried this to Tarmo and I feel so stupid. This is so stupid thing to cry over. But I'm just so pissed off!!! Poor Kitties don't dare to come near to me. But I will get myself over this. I will read more. I will pass the course. I have to.

And I'm so ashaimed becouse all my friends passed the exam. And that makes me feeling even more stupid. And I don't trust in my self. Ah this just sucks!

I had some good things happening this day but I'm so pissed off, so I won't even tell them.

Love in the air

They're over. And hopefully I passed both. I believe I did. But I have failed so much in this fall, so I don't really rely on my self much.
Our reports are ready and I think they are ok too. So that course is over. Next one begun on monday (and another lecture course today). But no more new courses this semester. The hardest part is over. I hope.

Our kitties are little angels and devils. Last night Neko came purring in our bed and bit my ear. Though not hard. And after I put her down on the floor, she jumped back and bit my arm, many times. Pollo was sleeping on our feet, so Neko thought she could play with us. So the kitties went out of our bedroom and we closed the door. And they were fine. We thought we could do that now every night so that we can sleep and kitties can play. The first few nights the sought comfort from us but now they sleep somewhere else. And they are so cute when the come to say hello when we come home. And Pollo loved me a lot yesterday. He purred and purren and tossed me. Neko is not so much after attention.

I'll have long days now. Lectures on morning, some lab on day and lectures at the evening. Ten hours in the university a day. Luckily not all days are that long. I'll have to start to read tomorrow for next exam. On thursday I'll have to go to Tampere. On friday is Olavis funeral. I'll come back on saturday. Emmi and maybe her boyfriend will come to look our kitties. maybe even Jussi comes. He slept over today and didn't left to Jyväskylä at all. But it's okay, since I had long day anyway.

Kitties are rampaging again. Well, then they sleep at night. Our little babies.