Bah.

I'm sorry, I've been lazy. I have had the time to write but I haven't been in the mood.

There's nothing much new going on. I have one lab course that bursts my neuronal cells. Flow cytometry, where we have three lab times and need to write three reports AND we have practical exam after those three times. And I really didn't understand those graphs we got out (I did know what they ment but I couldn't wrtie a thing about them), I needed to stare at those pics for hours and hours and now I need to write a the second report today. I also should get my theisis to a point that I could give it to the first check. But as the lab course needed so much of my time and made my head ache, I haven't been able to write it. I'll try to do something during next week after I'm done with the third lab report. Though it does look quite good already, there's enough pages, lots of results and some new things too, and I have some ideas...

I'm still being most of the time lazy during the weekends. We do some laundry, clean the house and cook. Then I watch Tarmo playing or play Sims2, sometimes go to my friends place to sing Singstars or have party. Though I haven't been drinking much. I got another phone bill and now I can't afford to eat at the university. Luckily I don't have such a courses that I had to be 8 h at the university, if I have long day (ie 6 h) I do something to eat at home and take it with me. I already got bored (after almost two months, not a surprise...) to the food I made (pasta/noodels with crushed soy and dried mushrooms with some random sauce) and I bought potatoes and made soup. I also found some very cheap fish rissoles (yummy!) that had their last date but I put them in the freezer. So that's my food for the next two weeks, after that I need to make something else... But I don't mind cooking. I love it. And now I can be at home (most of the time) and decide my own rythm. It's nice. Though I do go to do some sports almost every day (except during weekends) and sometimes I go to see my friends at the university (and drink coffee with them). So, nothing new.

I had a really bad day at the beginning of this week. Or evening to be proper. After a long day at the university I got home and there was the bill waiting for me. That got me in the bad mood because I realized then that now I can't afford to go and get my driving licence this Spring/Summer. That was my dream as long as I had the money but now I don't have it anymore... I don't know if I have time to go and do the lisence later, as the PhD studies will take so much time and I'm going to continue the taekwondo. It makes me sad because I would've wanted to be a driver too so that Tarmo wouldn't always need to drive, as we need to buy a car this year. Anyway, because of this bill I was getting really mad at myself and snapped to our kitties :( Then I felt so bad because really they didn't do anything THAT bad, went to bed and soon Tarmo joined me. He noticed immediately that I was miserable and just hugged me for few hours and I cried. (It made me feel even worse as it didn't make me feel better, I just kept Tarmo awake too...) Finally he fell asleep. I slept for few hours and felt miserable the next day too. Then I made some desicions and I felt better.
It's always money that makes me sad. I'm so used to deal with my things in a way that I have money to eat. And I've always had some savings to use if my other money isn't enough. Now I had made so much savings that I could go and get my drivings lisence and then I had to take money from there. I could continue to save money there but now there's no money I could save from as I need every penny of the money I get in order to eat. And after I get the paycheck, I need to pay my student loan and we need to buy few new furnitures and the car. And after we have all that, I'll start saving to a new computer (as this one is getting in the point that it will break soon) and then I'm going to start to save for our own apartment. And then it's what, 2012?? And at least then we need to move to a new (hopefully our own) apartment and need to start paying apartment loan back. Argh loans make me feel like I didn't have money at all! I hate when I need to loan money. But I understand that I need to get the loans if I ever want to live in an apartment of my own. And me want to!
Yeah, big problems again. See, this is why I don't write, I start brain storming and then I have a book. Bah. And I'm not in money problems. As I said, I have savings. I just don't want to use them :D But I will, I love food and eating too much to stop it ;)

I really need to get some clothes on and finish my breakfast and start writing the damned report. Oh yeah! One really good thing has happened, I've lost some weight! And I'm starting to get back in shape, yey!

ps. Sorry for the misspellings, I'm too lazy to check...