Happy Angry

Finally I can say it!

We are getting engaged!!

And what an effort it has been not to blurt it out! I have already said something like:
"We got a gift for... err... dishes..."
"Oh I almost said it but didn't"
"What are you doing on Eastern? We have... err... party"

I am big mouthed but I kept it as a secret! Of course our parents were the first ones to know and to get invitation. And we sent the cards for our friends last week. But I still have to say that I hope that not everyone is coming. We don´t have that big apartment. And if everyone was coming, it would be over 50 person in small room! Because the kittens must be in our bedroom so that people with allergies can be here and because someone of the guests are smoking and if people are drunk, they might not notice if a cat sneaks out to the balcony and fells down! We're living at seventh floor!
We are planning though to rent Lillukka, so the kitties would not be a problem and we could get more space. And Rentukka would be closer. But still planning. It would help if I could know who all are coming!

But some bad news too. One of by best and oldest friends and his boyfriend broke up! I was and still am so sad. But the guy was an idiot and he disgusts me! My friend had already suspected something. This guy had been partying since the late Fall and he didn't want to take her with him anymore. He didn't come home at nights but went to after parties. He didn't care her anymore as he used to care. I already then thought that this process would be so hard for her because they have an apartment together, most of their stuff are common and his mom is hers boss! And he already has a kind of place where to move in but she doesn't have.
Oh I cried so much after her call. I was playing like every Monday and went outside to talk to her and after a marathon call I cried to Tarmo so much that all got worried what had happened. And Vepa said that if I need to talk, I could talk to her. It was so sweet! I was sad but I was OK.
I called her every day and asked how she was. I was so proud of her (and still am) because she said she is sad and she still can't believe what had happened and she wouldn't like to leave him but she knows she has to. And she told me she is afraid that she can't let go. And I told her that I know she is strong! But still I was a bit worried if she couldn't let go. And even though I hated him for the grief he caused, I knew that this kind of things happen and it´s better to stop a relationship if people aren't happy in it anymore.
BUT last Monday I called her again and she was crying. She had read his messages from his cell phone and found like 200 messages from a girl! And he had sworn that there wasn't anyone else. Oh NOW I hate that guy! He had all the guts to get angry with her reading his messages! Yes, it is wrong but it was right in this situation! DAMN! I get all angry even thinking what happened.
He was explaining that it didn't mean anything for him and he was just laughing that girl with his friends. But the messages were from January to this day! JANUARY! FUCK!!!
GOD HE PISSES ME OFF!
HOW DOES HE DARE! HOW DOES HE DARE TO LIE IN A SUCH WAY! ARGH!

I can't write everything I think about this situation. But the point is that if I had been there I would've punched him. Or shaked him and yelled at him. I mean it. I'm not a violent person but I really got THAT angry. And still get angry when I think that. Did I already say it?

I don't know if they have already discussed about it and what has happened since because I tried to call her yesterday and she sent me a message saying she's too tired to talk about it. I said to her that she has to call me soon back. And promised that if she doesn't I will call. She hasn't called yet and if she doesn't call by tomorrow, I'll call. I need her to know that I care and that she can talk to me. I try not to judge anyone but can you blame me if I said something bad about him after last Monday?

But now I got all angry again so I'll change the subject.

It was funny today. There was a presentation in our department about a molecular biology corporation and the man in there thought that I had my own research group. It was so funny that I didn't correct him but kept talking like a real researcher. And it was real fun to act like a researcher! Even though I'm planning my own research and I'm going to try new things which haven't been tried before, I still don't think myself as a researcher. I'm just a student who can't do anything and who doesn't know anything. Even though people seem to assume that I know things, I think I don't. I've realized that the more I study the stupider I become and the less I know. I know, a common dilemma in science.

And back to the engagement thing. I'm kind of disappointed about the reactions we got when we told to our friends. We got few really nice reactions (and by this I mean the surprise it was meant to be). But most of people have only thanked about the invitation. Like the supposed this to happen? I don't know.

Tarmo got his new computer parts yesterday and he has been working on them since then (he did sleep at night though). He got even a "guru" friend here to help him today. And he's all smile. I can't help it but he's so cute when he gets this excited. And after his new machine is all ready, I get the old computer for playing. (Yes, I play games! The Sims 2 is quite addictive, my newest addiction is Civilization 4, though I play only at weekends.) But the problem is that we don't have an extra screen but Dad bought a new flat screen so I get his old one. What a coincidence!

I have a quite big sore bruise on my arm. I have no idea where it has become. And my back got jammed in the Monday sports. But it's already better. What else? I didn't menstruate last week like usual (no details about it). Anything else about my health? Muaha. Like the old peoples conversation.

I've been waking up quite early and have been able to read enough for the next exam about virology. Not that much to read which is nice. But it worries me because I think the course is easy, so I would suppose to get 5 from it (the best grade). And if I don't I get all disappointed on me again. I should write an essay for one course to get it through (no exam). And then I have still two laboratory courses this Spring. The other starts next week. It had a pre-exam and I believe (and hope) it went well.

But I think I have already written too much. How many of you read this this far?? Muaha.