Grandmother

Grandmom is dying.

She got hospitalized last weekend because hes intestine got blocked up. She has the hospital bacteria so there will be no surgery. And even if there would be, she wouldn't survive. She's after all almost 100 years old (97 if I remember correctly). Mom says she won't last longer than three days.

I'm sad. Yet I feel that there will be better place for her. She got bitterer and nastier every year (she lived through war and her husband chased her with a knife around their house, so I don't wonder her moods) and she can't see or hear very well anymore. Not to mention the hallucinations she got. She didn't recognize her kids or other relatives and saw maggots in her ceiling and dead man in the backyard (and rats in the closet).

We thought that she had died already last time she had pneumonia but she survived from that. I cried a lot so I guess that's why I don't cry now. At least now. And I can't understand this yet.